Her album “PAST FUTURE having reached No.1 in five Asian countries, Namie Amuro is currently touring the country. The tour began in April this year and the last concert is on December 15th in Nagoya, extending the number of shows to 80 in all. But just before the interview came the news that a show had been canceled due to vocal chord inflammation. Being the first accident in her singing career, it must be understood that this was a sensitive situation, but she boldly wanted a straight interview, which has revealed her inner thoughts.

Four days after the postponed show she appeared on stage in Osaka. Gradually her control of high notes became ineffective and hoarse. Unable to disguise it during ballads, she was seen biting her lip to hold back tears. No matter how delicately the words were communicated, perhaps there are no words that can directly express this emotion. Looking back at this year she said “each time it comes a trial”. Whatever question I asked she unhesitatingly answered. To know a little what it feels like being Namie Amuro.

This tour still has one month remaining, but with a record 80 hall venues, what has is been like this year?

– Overcoming the problems I had up until then, and being able to stabilize things is this year’s harvest. In fact, while I’m on stage I can feel the difference from my previous self.

In that you have overcome the stress of being on stage

– It’s a result of the 60 show ‘PLAY’ tour. On past arena tours I thought “Will I be alright?”, but when I performed in large arenas with pneumonia as a Pro I couldn’t be satisfied with what I did on stage, also in a different sense I felt depressed… . I braced myself with “I could beat it if not on tour”, but for this year’s tour I was very focused from the start. I actually felt that what I’d done for two years wasn’t wasted.

Then, on account of vocal chord inflammation, you cancelled a show for the first time in your singing career. Whether it’s influenza or pneumonia, it’s unusual for a person to go on stage I thought…

– In 18 years of doing this it’s the first symptoms where I was helpless. When I notice anything unusual with my vocal cords during rehearsal, there are ways to vocalise when you have a cold, though you exert yourself and stand firm it isn’t a proper voice. In order to go on stage, I do as much as possible, finally seeing a doctor, which usually lasts 30 minutes. With medicine and intravenous drip or a muscle injection it might take up to an hour….

What made it different to Yoyogi last year?

– Last year I knew that pneumonia was the cause and I felt it was up to me to fight it. This time it happened quite suddenly and at first I didn’t know the cause.That was the main thing. To make the judgement to halt a show after it has begun, from debut until now, take a break from work with a cold or bad fitness, let alone halt a concert so even when there was no alternative, I hesitated to do it.

It is said that you didn’t have 2 hours?

– I don’t understand not trying to sing. Shouldn’t you try even a 1% possibility? I think so. But the doctor’s final warning was “Realistically, I can only say it’s impossible”. When I heard those words, I thought “OK” but I could hardly believe it, it was such a great shock.

On the other hand to go back, even with pneumonia and flu, you still had confidence “I can do this!”?

– I would put it a little differently. In the past, although in excellent physical condition, there were more painful stage than when I had a cold, caused by the temperature difference of air-conditioned venues depending on the season, or the gap between meal times, such minor things upset my condition.. You might even say that not even once was being on stage entirely painless. For me to produce this kind of singing and dancing on stage, I can’t change it. And because all the schedules are based on that, I couldn’t be off sick.

Don’t you think the tours would be easier if you reduced the number of shows?

– I think artists each have their own way of thinking, but in my work the concerts are the central axis. Of course, I didn’t want to lower my value on stage just for the fun of it. Perhaps, if I thought about it calmly, it would have been better to call off last years performances. But what I mean is, there’s no such thing as a perfect show. Of course, it would not be allowed if not up to standard, and I will try as hard as I can within my limits on the day. Whichever show it is, even if it’s the first day, when I make a mistake it’s the same feeling, I will recover until the last day. Each time that’s my stance. Conversely, too many times and there is no excuse. Besides, do you take a break when your physical condition is bad using a paid vacation? If it’s not a job where you can do that, and if you ease up once, reliability of mobilization is reduced. Obviously it is a severe profession.

This time too, if there is even 1% I believe in myself that I can do it. However this time there wasn’t even that 1%. I didn’t believe I could properly sing one song. I am truly sorry for the people who traveled to the show, but the decision to stop it was the right one, I think. After that, how’s your throat now?

– My throat isn’t completely healed yet, but I know how to get my voice out in this situation. Therefore it’s not bad, in a case such as this. I also have experience from going on stage for so long.

I thought as you were speaking, if you want perfection, you should listen to the CD. If someone is singing while dancing vigourously, they can try but it will obviously be different to any recording. How does a living person go so far! is the surprise, and seeing the spirit flowing from the whole body with one’s own eyes, isn’t that what gets the applause?

– Of course, a CD has CD quality. To increase the enjoyment of what you saw there, to do shows where I can give the live song a good feeling, that is my job. Of course, there are times when the continuous dance part becomes painful, but I don’t want to slack off and do an indifferent show, rather innocently singing and dancing without considering the consequences, I don’t hate being in that state. Perhaps I don’t look closely enough into this, but I am serious. 80 shows so there are 80 dances. That’s how I want the audience to see the concert. If, like a robot, I could do it perfectly every time without mistakes, I would not have the feeling of achievement.

I see. Conversely, if you go back there will be no progress.

– You can talk to the same people about the same things, but each day the feeling changes. People are able to grow. So it’s also fun to do the same concert each time, and at the end, “Hey, come to play again”, can be said sincerely, I think.

There aren’t any tricks, there’s just Namie Amuro in the flesh. I always feel that gracefulness.

– I won’t make albums or do concerts that you can’t understand without an explanation.. If that is necessary, it’s not satisfactory to me because if you explain things to people like that I think they will say “is that right?”

I guess that’s why the number of concerts has increased. “First, please watch this.”

– I’ve continued to do the same thing for 18 years, but there are still people who haven’t seen me and don’t know me. During that time people have been born and grown up. Since the numbers must necessarity increase, therefore I want an environment where more people get to know me. I’m happy that the number of performances is increasing and I enjoy the changes of venues each year.

Compared with your twenties, quite objectively how do you see yourself now?

– After all, I’m different from when I was in my mid-twenties. I see myself more clearly that before, and I’ve been able to get some idea “how I am now in relation to how I’ll be in the future”. In the end, whatever happens doesn’t come only from my drawer. Without experience, none of my own stuff would happen. While looking to the future you have to be proactive. What do I need to do, what is necessary? When I changed to thinking like that I understood “How do I think ahead?”. After that, making decisions became simply YES or NO.

This is also said in private?

– That’s right. Even though I lose my way. .

Incidentally, are your work self and off (work) self still different?

– At work I am “man-like” because I take the leading position, steering towards a vision of what I want to do, what I want to be. At home, I’m not only mother, I also act the role of father. Whether it’s praising or getting angry with the child, there is only me. So I think there is not much ‘off ’ (laughs).

In that case, nothing but love can get you back to being just a woman?

– That’s right. In that sense, love might bring out a new me. When there is love you can relax without thinking about anything. For that reason there isn’t a partner who is able to see the natural me.

Certainly, when you’re single there’s no-one to stop you from taking your time at home, but as a parent don’t you have to keep up a decent pace of life?

– In the morning, after sending my son to school, I do occasionally go back to sleep again, (laughs). A lover that drew out the feelings I hold in, I want to understand. If they are to be a life partner, it’s not only whether you have fun together, but what annoys you and what hurts you, about looking at each others 100% natural self, and so if there are compromises and they are not the person you love, walking together is difficult, I think.

Because you don’t want to be hated by your partner you patched things up but it will not last long.

– If you only meet occasionally, perhaps it’s possible to see only the good things, but I want to love properly because I want to be loved. Hovever many lovely words and surprises I get, the longer we are going out it doesn’t bring a plus factor in confidence. Above all, the true person must be seen, as soon as they have showed me that I feel at ease and that will lead to trust.

The sense of values when you were young and the life experiences you’ve had at your age, it’s natural that today’s values are different. I think it’s wonderful that standards change.

– That might be, I still think things turn up one by one (laughs). Really, I don’t know what life is. My child’s life and my life, I need to make decisions in order for either of them to be better. To do that I have to know more clearly than before “the essential things to look for in my life”.

What specifically?

– My twenties passed by so quickly but in the last few years I’ve had time to think about how to live as a woman. By meeting people I can grow, in any case there is a limit to what I can do on my own. In business and private life I want to build good personal relationships, more actively than in the past I think..

For love too?

– What should you do to Plus yourself.? One of them is to love, I think. Love fills you with active strength and feelings of happiness, from inside me send thing also changes.

What is happiness for you?

– When you eat delicious food, or if there is an enjoyable event you can be happy, but apart from these feelings of satisfaction, there are others you can’t create on your own. Among many things happiness in life comes from relationships with people. And I think that as a woman there is the happiness that you can only get from love.

In the GINGER generation, single mothers are increasing, but do you think having a child is a risk worth taking for love?

– Rather, I think is positive. After all, you are the proud parent of a child, there can be nothing half-hearted about that, in that sense, my son does put the brakes on various things. (such as) work, or love.

Together with the growth of children, do you think your idea of marriage has changed too?

– When you are single, first you consider how it would be if you could marry this person, maybe dating and becoming partners is usual, but it’s not like that for me now. As usual I want love, but if I don’t try dating I don’t know if I can make the relationship lead to marriage. I might not always be ideal, and there are times I seem useless in parts, but I think you look for a partner who wants to understand those parts. Marriage is about showing each other true face, as well as making a decision.That way, when I have retired from work someday, life goes on. So, even if a person I want to be with appeared, more than than his relationship with me, his relationship with my child is important to me, if that isn’t there I won’t even consider it.

You don’t usually gossip about love and marriage, keeping work separate from your life, so it’s funny to hear you talk of ruling out someone you love.

To deceive myself I’d also have to hide my true self from my child. Since I was little I’ve said “It’s bad to lie and keep secrets” so I can’t do it. That’s especially true in recent years. Kids also see and hear things that are commonly reported, and talk about them between themselves, and so to avoid any misunderstandings as a parent you should tell them things. It will then become more open. […]

Working in entertainment, as well as praise, you often receive unreasonable criticism. In order not to worry about the noise, you doesn’t talk very much, but gets on with your music business in silence.

– I don’t think eloquence with words is necessary for my work. I don’t insert MC in my concerts. We can understand each other, even without words, we can share things I think.

{…}In my work all people need to do is get the CD and listen to it, or go and watch the concert. Especially the concerts where my true self comes out. That’s what I’m all about. More truthful than any words. What you believe about me is down to what you see.

You intend to share a common language when talking to people, but you never know how straight it is conveyed across.

– That’s why I want you to watch me on stage. Because there, there are no lies, just me.

“If you search for words but don’t communicate, better to shut up” You sang that at the concert (laughs).

– Ha ha, I do sing that.

And also these lyrics from ‘Get Myself Back’, “I’m sure everything will be alright”, “It’ll be better than before”, when you sing, “That’s right” I can really believe it.

– For me, that may have been something like the theme song of this year. It feels like I’m trying to persuade myself too, and it also has the feeling of being a prayer. I really enjoy singing it, and it’s wonderful to feel the audience’s mood brighten.

You really do feel this change of mood in the audience! Simple words but it’s forceful and persuasive, I guess that is your backbone.

– It’s true that various things have got better. It seems to me that one by one, no more than that, the road opened up. As a result, I think there is nothing more valuable than experience.

That’s surely correct.

– My mother raised me on her own, doing two roles, so I think it’s natural to live like that, but sometimes it felt like I was looking for a father. I think that was also linked to my view of love at the time. But now the elements I look for in a partner have also changed. Looking for someone I can respect hasn’t changed, but compared to the past, the weight on the word respect is different now.

I have improved, so respect should also improve.

– In the same way, I want to sing but the songs I sing will change. There’s no question that I work hard to produce a good result, not just patch things up. As a result, it is best that I can be honest about everything.

So love able.